Completely understandable, Doomraven. I don't think your wife is being entirely honest with herself or with you. If her prior trauma is disrupting the marital relationship, it must be addressed one way or another. I live with PTSD and depression. It is not my partner's responsibility to manage those problems; it is my responsibility. I'm not a dependent child looking to parents for mental health guidance...therefore I need to take ownership of my problems to ensure that my prior history isn't hurting my partner's (or my) present relationship. I can ask for a hug or listening or even advice on occasion but prior to partnering with him, I had to participate in extensive therapy and now I continually self-monitor.

It never ceases to amaze me how many wives think it's okay to end their husbands' sex lives while expecting them to remain faithful. So, he can't have sex with his wife for the rest of his life and he can't have sex with another woman....so what is he supposed to do? If women want a sexless marriage, they need to mention that prior to the engagement so that their male partner can decide whether he's okay with that or not. Sex is a basic biological adult need. If someone does not view it that way (for any reason) he/she needs to date and partner with people who are equally asexual. To expect a sexual person to remain in a relationship with an asexual person (who accidentally never mentioned that prior to the wedding) is like marrying someone who wants children and then a year later saying: "Actually, I've never really wanted children. You're okay with that, right?"