I see this is your first post. Hello!

I first came to PC wondering why I could become so upset with my H that I nearly killed myself. It took me a long time to figure out why. I went to therapy, journaled for myself, posted here and did a lot of reading of posts and psychology articles before gaining some understanding. There can be many reasons for behaving like this so be patient--I think you will figure it out but it will take time and effort (introspection). That you want to improve means that you can little by little!