Before I continue: This is my first post so I apologize if it's in the wrong forum or if I did not adhere to any necessary formatting.

Also, this is inexorably long. Please bear with me.

So... I'm currently in a relationship. In fact, I'm currently engaged. My fiance has been going through quite a lot in the past year and I think I've become somewhat of a punching bag for her.

To some up some of the issues she's been experiencing, her father is currently dying due to a kidney disease that is progressing much faster than doctors predicted and has only been exponentially progressing. Basically, his only shot has been her donating her kidney to him. In this process, she has been tested for the same disease he has and fears at every step of the way that she will fail some test and no longer be able to help him.
Additionally, my fiance and both my sister as well as my mother have never quite got along. This doesn't come at any particular surprise to me as I know very well that they can be quite the handful and are practically the same person in two different bodies. However, this progressed beyond what I could have ever dreamed of into darn near tag-teamed verbal abuse from each of them. As she is definitely emotionally sensitive, this has been hitting really, really hard.

I've tried to help as much as I can, but she has prohibited me from directly speaking with my family. As I'm not convinced that speaking to them will help at all to begin with, I've agreed.

As for her father and the kidney situation... things are going great so far, and fairly recently she got some great news that she passed almost all of the required tests and the doctors just need to do a bit more testing on her father before the last bit of testing on her. Obviously, this is excellent news and while I thought this would help, she seems to have become more worried than ever.

Also, she has always been a gentle soul and would simply "deal" with what my family has been saying to her (which, if I hadn't mentioned already, is always behind my back). Just very recently did she kind of.... explode a bit.

She stood up for herself and basically wrote out a whole essay of all the ways the women in my family are sinners against God. She sent it off as a text last week and has since heard... nothing. Complete radio silence. The silence has really agitated her behavior.

Over the course of the last year, we've experienced some issues as a result of the in-exhaustive list of hardships of hers and some issues of mine that I've also brought to the table (though mine are far less in magnitude than hers). We do not currently live together. In fact, we're in a long distance relationship at this time while I am at University.

She's been short tempered and suspicious of me. She will "break up" with me after getting angry at something super trivial (such as me taking longer than she would've liked to respond to a question... while talking over the phone) then cry and say she can't leave me sometime in the following few days. She has begun to suspect I am "in league" with the women of my family and that I will soon break up with her.

Yesterday morning, she was telling me how much she loved me and valued my patience. She said that she couldn't believe that someone loves her the way I do.

Last night, she "breaks up" with me again because I asked why she was wanting to know "everyone I had spoken on the phone with" yesterday. She said that I was being "impatient, careless, aloof, and never loved me to begin with." in a literally 40 minute long verbal tirade on how much she hated me.

That kind of thing has happened sporadically in the last year, but has reached new levels of intensity that I simply can't stomach anymore. Three times this week is just too much (even if there was a good 3 week break before then).

Heck... I grant her that "aloof" may have some credibility as I am often described that way by friends and family. In fact, I read somewhere that for my personality type (INTP) that it was downright commonplace.

Look...

I understand she is going through a lot. I have little doubt that this is all what it amounts to. I love her and I care for her. We've been together for 2.5y and it's only in the past year has all this been happening. I also have brought up psychiatric help in the past.... that didn't go so well.

I want to know how to help. I am a student and it has certainly been affecting my studies. I used to pride myself on being able to keep cool in almost any situation and having excellent patience, and (not to sound arrogant) I am finally wearing so ever incredibly thin. Lately I've noticed myself beginning to lose my temper and forget patience entirely. I guess hearing my fiance, someone I care deeply about, go off for so long about all the different ways they hate you will do that to you.

I'm also not sure what I should do when in a couple days she'll cry and say that she needs me.

But... enough about me. I want to know if anyone has suggestions on how I deal with this and approach her? I want to be able to comfort her but for most of what she's going through, I'm powerless. For the rest, she considers me an enemy about half the time and the other half she's convinced I will only do harm in the situation (and will subsequently blame me for anything that may happen due to this).

I'm just looking for suggestions... we never seem to have any of these issues when we're in-person together, even for lengths of time. Actually, it seems as if my physical presence melts away all the troubles she has the moment I'm within sight.

I apologize if this message was hard to follow or ill-formatted. Quite honestly, I wrote it rather late, in a questionable emotional state, and the post creation text box is SO SMALL that I might as well be texting.