Again i appreciate each and every one of your responses. I do believe I have a level of postpartum depression. I will be starting back at work very casually in a couple weeks building up to almost full time in the fall. I think this will be good for me.

An update regarding meeting my nephew is pretty positive I would say. I met him this past weekend. Instead of dreading the visit, myself and my older girls made a diaper cake for them and they seemed to really like it. There were all kinds of “finally someone made a boy” comments and they cut deep but I was able to shrug them off.

My mood definitely depends on the day. I’m not sure what makes it worse or better.