i won't live through a month of this. i am not in a place mentally/emotionally where i have those skills... perna, the more i read your reply, the more hurt i feel. i am struggling through this mess with my husband, through complicated medical isees, financial issues *and* trying to understand just how my past relationships have resulted in the damage i work within now. Choosing something yourself is not the same as it being forced on you. The irony is that knowing he was "there" was making it possible to stop thinking about therapy outside of therapy. Each of us are different and that was what was working and helping me. How i am "broken" or dysfunctional is different than how someone else is.

i am allowed to leave messages.. i leave a few each week. i rarely ask for calls back... this particular issue came up regarding getting a voicemail from him... i wanted a new voicemail, they need to change and be updated.. but he wouldn't give me one.

iget mad too.. but i have no recourse, what could i say? "because i am hurt that you aren't there i'll stop going?" catch 22

im going to ask about the incremental agreement... there has to be something..

this is all i can think about... i burst into tears sporadically... i pace

this is so painful.... this feels exactly like a repeat of some of the events that lead to me being messed up in the first place.

i hear "get away from me" and i know he would say that isn't what he is saying, but i dont see the difference.