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gordian_knot said:
I was much, much more hurt when I found out that my wife was putting a huge emotional investment into her online cyber-fling rather than our own relationship.

What do you think?

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I understand where you are coming from and I feel the hurt / devastation you felt when your found out that you were second best to your spouses online activities. I have been there with my own husband and we have since worked the issues that pulled him there.... and IF you do not mind me saying (as I am a Christian) - I PRAY the same for YOU.

I personally feel that if one gives more to another than they are giving to their spouse then they are taking from them and risking death of the marriage (and) If one has to keep some thing a secret from their spouse them they need to question if the activity / person is safe - needs to be in their life.