True, I may be assuming some people are IRL like on TV.

I gave this some thought last night. My friendships with females have been pretty typical and not so strange. It was my relationships with the males...

I suppose it was my low self esteem that caused me to compromise myself to get love and attention from men who were not healthy for me.

But here’s the thing— The ‘strange’ relationships were not exactly healthy and fulfilling, but they did not cause me the emotional trauma that I developed during my marriage due to my husband. He is the most ‘normal’ and not ‘strange’ person I ever knew! I chose the most secure, stabile person to marry! And then I became an emotional wreck! It wasn’t the flaky, drug addicts that got to me... It was the ‘rock’ of a spouse who just won’t treat me as I need to be treated, no matter how I asked for that.

But, I never was going to get that far with the others in the past anyway. They did not commit to me (honestly, doing me a favor), or I did not commit to them (seeing the huge red flags and ending it). So what happened is what happened.

Moving forward...

I’m trying to focus on other things to give my life purpose. I’m trying to end the hysteria and keep the emotions in check. Now that I accept it is what it is, I can change my attitude for coping.