Hello khushalib: Thank you for sharing your struggle with us here on PC.

At the beginning of your post you mentioned having not posted for a long, long time. However, this appears to be your first post here on PC. So perhaps where you posted previously was on another website?

Anyway... welcome to Psych Central.

We're glad you're here.
One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the self-injury forum:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/self-injury/
Please note the "Sticky" toward the top of the page: "Things to do instead of hurting yourself".
You might also want to check out the hospitalization & in-patient treatment forum:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/hosp...ent-treatment/
And then here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of dissociation:
In-Depth: Understanding Dissociative Disorders
The Psyche's Way Out of Pain: Dissociation
5 Dissociative Symptoms: Coping With Trauma | Caregivers, Family & Friends
https://psychcentral.com/resources/D...upport_Groups/
I hope you find PC to be of benefit.