I (24F) met someone (29M) online right before New Year's Eve 2018. We hit it off right away, and a week later we met in real life. We live in the same town and could bond over many of the same experiences and interests, and I began to feel my attachment to him grow right away. The first three weeks (including the week we texted before actually meeting) were amazing. I saw him several times a week, and he made me feel so great...blah blah blah, cue all the cliches. A few weeks after we met, I began to notice we'd text less and less frequently (we'd been talking nearly all day in the previous weeks). It would take him sometimes up to three hours to respond to my texts and his responses were short and he seemed overall uninterested in talking. Now, I knew not to expect the paragraph responses I'd grown accustomed to in the beginning, but I could tell something wasn't quite right. From then on, until the end of February, he grew increasingly distant. Sometimes I'd only see him for a couple hours on a Saturday night and barely heard from him through the week. It was like he just completely checked out. On February 28th I received a text from him. He apologized for being so distant and told me I did nothing wrong, that he was going through a lot and in a very bad mindset right now and needed to work on his mental health before he could even consider a relationship.

This text really didn't come as a surprise to me. I knew that earlier in 2018 his ex-girlfriend had broken up with him and basically left him with nothing because she kicked him out of their house and kept his belongings. I knew he struggled with severe depression, anxiety and insomnia, which was made worse by family issues and having trouble finding a job. None of this mattered to me, as I accepted him as he was. I knew he was a very closed off person and struggled to be vulnerable with me because of trust issues from his previous relationship. As far as attachment styles go, I am polar opposite. I tend to fall under the "anxious" type of attachment and find I constantly need reassurance from a partner. I don't struggle with vulnerability in the same way. I tend to "throw everything" at a potential partner very prematurely in the hope of establishing a connection with them. I wanted him to be able to open up to me so badly while we were together, though I know I probably pushed the issue too far at times.

Anyway, I spoke with him on the phone after he sent the text to break up with me. I asked him if he thought there could ever be a chance for us to get back together and his response was "I don't know, maybe". He told me he wouldn't ghost me and he didn't. Two days later he texted me, and we texted back and forth every day. Until today. I have not been initiating our conversations every day like I did when we were together. In that time, I've had a very difficult time understanding his intentions. He still jokes around with me and teases me about little things like my driving habits. At one point I changed my Facebook profile picture and he texted me to tell me I looked pretty in it. He's mentioned in passing the possibility of hanging out in the future, but it is very brief. Like "hey we'll have to do [whatever activity] together someday". I feel like we've actually been talking more SINCE we broke up. For the most part, he seems to take a more active role with texting than he used to. He texts back sooner too. We've began to speak on the phone more often in the past few weeks than we did in the beginning of the breakup, though I feel like he doesn't ask to talk as much as he did a couple weeks ago.

Because I've initiated our conversation during the past two days, today I thought it would be a good idea to let him contact me instead. He didn't. From Facebook I can see that he's been online. I thought he would text me. I tend to overthink things to a disastrous degree. Even minor things send my paranoia skyrocketing, like the fact that his Facebook friend count recently increased by a few people. I am SO paranoid that he's talking to another girl (from work or otherwise) and will start dating someone soon. I just don't know how to read him. I know he will contact me if he truly wants to talk to me and if not then it isn't worth my time. I just don't know how to do this anymore. I knew I was in love with him on our second date and I am terrified of seeing him with someone else. Last year I got out of a four-year long relationship and it was just sad. It was a cakewalk compared to this. I am so unbelievably heartbroken right now and just want him back in my life 100%. I don't know what I'm hoping to gain by posting this. Support, maybe. It's so hard not to hold out hope that we'll get back together someday. I know it'll work out if it's meant to be, even if he does end up dating someone else. I don't bring this up with him because I don't want him to see how crazy I really am. I don't want to push him to discuss the status of our relationship and seem clingy or drive him away. While speaking on the phone one night three weeks or so ago, he mentioned that he is very sensitive to negative energy given off by other people and can "read" people very well. I asked him to describe my energy and he told me: "I know you're still confused and hurt over what happened [the breakup]...I know you write in your journal all the time" [I mentioned this is one of my coping mechanisms]. I am pretty certain he knows I still have feelings for him but I've never admitted it outright.

Most recently he has begun working at a clothing store in our town and many of his coworkers are girls around his age. From the sound of it, these women are very insecure and sexual harassment is rampant in the workplace. He tells me that they basically throw themselves at him on a daily basis and that he isn't interested because he's "working on himself" right now and isn't into casual sex. Yesterday I went to drop off some donations to the store where he works (he suggested I do so since he knew I had the donations to bring) and we chatted while he helped me with the donation. I made sure to pay more attention to his nonverbal cues. He teases me jokingly, makes a lot of eye contact, didn't seem to mind getting close to me to talk about certain things he didn't want his coworkers to overhear, and seemed like he wanted to stick around to talk rather than hurry up with the donation.

I know I'm just reading into things wayyyyyy too far, but I'm so confused by his mixed signals. The past couple days I haven't gotten the best vibe from him while texting or talking on the phone so I decided to step back and let him contact me if he so chooses. I haven't heard from him all day and doubt I will.

My biggest concerns/questions to summarize this massive post:

1. Why is he so hot and cold? Why did he seem so warm and flirty in person and then distant on the phone 6 hours later?
2. Am I being overbearing for insisting on daily communication? We never actually agreed to talk every day, it just sort of happened and now I expect it.
3. Will he forget about me or resent me if I continue No Contact to give him space?
4. Does it sound like he just wants to be friends or is weighing whether he might want something more someday?

I know none of you can possibly begin to understand what's going on in his head, especially if I can't. But maybe you can tell me if it sounds like I'M the insecure/unstable one here. I'm just heartbroken because he hasn't contacted me today. I don't think he's inherently mean and just messing with my head for fun. I think he's got a lot going on in his life right now with a new job, precarious living situation, and past baggage, and may simply require a mental break from the craziness that is, well, me. I'm just terrified he is withdrawing from me because he met someone else and is talking to that person instead.