I am sorry you are struggling. My suggestion is to be done whth the guy

I’d say that if you met online at new year time and were broken up in February, there wasn’t enough time to truly get to know him. No way you can truly love (not infatuated) a guy that fast and I’d not refer to someone I just met as a “boyfriend”. Handful of dates isn’t a relationship (yet).

I have to say that often “I am not ready for relationship and have something to deal with” is often a code for “not interested”. If a man is interested, he’d not be taking breaks from a relationship regardless what he has going on in his life.

Sorry for intrusive question but were you intimate wyth this guy? If yes how soon after it, he says “he isn’t ready for a relationship”?

Him texting doesn’t mean much. Some people casually text or message others all the time. And if you often initiate, he just responds to you. It means nothing. Sure he might get interested in hooking up or even dates with you, but it doesn’t mean you need to sit around.

Out of respect for yourself stop talking with him completely. I’d recommend talking to a therapist about what makes you attach to a stranger so fast and how to avoid that in a future

You can do better than this, yuh deserve better