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HD7970GHZ · Apr 10, 2019 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Well, I went back to the one I saw last week, who was not that wonderful, but after that session, I emailed my complaints and he replied apologizing and saying he wants to support me the best he can and that if I chose to see him again, he would be more aware of his words

Today, I found out the weather is supposed to be garbage the next few days and I'm scheduled for baby T 2x (thur and Fri) but I wasn't sure how likely I'd be able to get to either one this week so I asked the other guy if he was open, he had something today which saved me money since he isn't covered in my insurance yet

anyway... I am struggling because of the would be 2 yrs of knowing T and some other crap going on in my life. Feeling really down and lonely. I knew I needed a session somehow. We briefly discussed the T thing and he basically just said to find ways to distract myself... I'm not sure he's very comfortable with the topic since he says it was unethical etc or maybe he doesn't know how to help much. So he was getting me to talk about other things (sneaky)

Turns out, he's actually pretty good with some things. He got me to talk about some childhood stuff I usually avoid and was saying how even if I have blocked out much of my childhood, due to my reactions to things and phobias, there is a part of my mind (Limbic system) that remembers feelings so I still have "trauma" from it. He asked if I'd done EMDR and was explaining it but he then told me he doesn't do it, he isn't trained (LOL no idea why he told me) but anyway, alot of the stuff we talked about, which I honestly didn't think I'd be willing to talk about, was helpful feeling and he seems like someone who could potentially help me with some of the issues I struggle with now because of the past, and some sexual stuff (he specializes in sexual issues) He's direct, which works well for me. Just sucks that he is so pricey without insurance and he may not be on my insurance for sometime

Baby T though, is REALLY helpful for the T grief. He's got me to share more things about our relationship than I ever thought I would in therapy. I'm very guarded with that topic. He has never judged T or anything and still keeps the hope alive for me with the future talk etc. He's also very helpful with CBT and mindfulness stuff.

They both have things that annoy me, I don't think I'd attach to either one but they both have strengths that could really help me. Sigh.... I've heard you are not supposed to have 2 at the same time. Although Baby T might me moving locations in a few months and T3 would be on my insurance around then, so who knows but at least it's nice to have him as a back up for now but he actually made me walk out with a feeling of some "Hope" for myself, as far as not feeling stuck with this massive self loathing. He really seems to get the whole attachment stuff too. Explained very well why I would be avoidant, where it comes from etc.

Just wanted to share, what a tough choice I have to make.

Hi DP_2017,

I just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and I am happy you are finding some help in therapy.

I have also heard that having two therapists is often times not a good idea. When I was in DBT, my therapist had (at the peak of my severe attachment to her) said that we could no longer speak about what I wanted to speak about in session, because it was only increasing the attachment. I found this incredibly invalidating and felt unsupported, so I decided to go see a drop in therapist at a different location. My DBT therapist found out and said it isn't a good idea because different therapists can offer different opinions about the same issues, which could in turn create ambivalence and confusion for the client. Not to mention that both therapists have different information and not having a full history could impact treatment. It makes sense, not sure if this is something that resonates with you? Have you had this experience while seeing multiple therapists?

I am curious about the BOLD part in your quote above...

Is the subject matter something that your therapist seems to avoid altogether? Has he specifically said he doesn't want to go there, like set boundaries? Or is it something you've picked up on but isn't even vocalized? Do you think your therapist does not want to talk about the issues because he has a problem with the specific subject matter - like for instance, a negative counter-transference that you detect whenever you bring up the topic?

If this is the case, do you think that therapist is simply not a good fit for you?

Is this something you feel you resonate with?

I ask because I am experiencing something similar with my current therapist and it is driving me nuts. She will not talk about my trauma - and considering it is trauma that happened in therapy, it seems like an invalidation and a red flag. Her explanation is that because she cannot offer long-term therapy, it would be considered unethical to take on trauma clients because termination could leave me devastated. (I believe her).

I hope you have a good day,

Thanks,
HD7970ghz