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DP_2017 · Apr 10, 2019 at 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Hi DP_2017,

I just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and I am happy you are finding some help in therapy.

I have also heard that having two therapists is often times not a good idea. When I was in DBT, my therapist had (at the peak of my severe attachment to her) said that we could no longer speak about what I wanted to speak about in session, because it was only increasing the attachment. I found this incredibly invalidating and felt unsupported, so I decided to go see a drop in therapist at a different location. My DBT therapist found out and said it isn't a good idea because different therapists can offer different opinions about the same issues, which could in turn create ambivalence and confusion for the client. Not to mention that both therapists have different information and not having a full history could impact treatment. It makes sense, not sure if this is something that resonates with you? Have you had this experience while seeing multiple therapists?

I am curious about the BOLD part in your quote above...

Is the subject matter something that your therapist seems to avoid altogether? Has he specifically said he doesn't want to go there, like set boundaries? Or is it something you've picked up on but isn't even vocalized? Do you think your therapist does not want to talk about the issues because he has a problem with the specific subject matter - like for instance, a negative counter-transference that you detect whenever you bring up the topic?

If this is the case, do you think that therapist is simply not a good fit for you?

Is this something you feel you resonate with?

I ask because I am experiencing something similar with my current therapist and it is driving me nuts. She will not talk about my trauma - and considering it is trauma that happened in therapy, it seems like an invalidation and a red flag. Her explanation is that because she cannot offer long-term therapy, it would be considered unethical to take on trauma clients because termination could leave me devastated. (I believe her).

I hope you have a good day,

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I've only seen him 2x. He is only a backup T. Not my regular T. He was very judgemental about it in session 1. It scared me and i shut down the topic. However when I emailed him and explained how he made me feel, he apologized and it was a very kind reply, so I figured I'd give him another shot today. He just basically told me to find ways to distract myself. I think he might just be unsure of how to support me without upsetting me because he doesn't know me well enough or we haven't talked about the issue much. I wont be able to see him again until June anyway when he is on my insurance so I wont be working on the grief issue with him any further. I personally, in your case, would maybe find a T who is ok with talking about it, I mean if I didn't have baby T (regular T) for the grief, I sure would not be keeping back up T has a regular T for grief, I'd have kept looking until I found a match I felt safe with

That being said, the thing is, I don't really think it matters to me much how they may say different things to the same issue. Kind of like on here. You can post a topic, get various types of replies and at the end of the day, it's your life, your choice, you decide what to do. I take therapy merely as suggestions. I think both have provided very different but helpful insights for me and I have no attachment to either so It helps.

T3 "back up T" that I saw today, will be GREAT for the issues I really need work on like the intimacy and social/relationship stuff and baby T (regular T) will be great for my grief. He has been so far.