I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, mountainstream! I completely agree with what TheLonelyChemist has already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to him as much as you can if you want to! He always gives such great advice and lots of great advice to everyone! Try not to think too much about what other people may think of you! Unfortunate there are too many judgemental, mean people on this Earth! We must try not to let them hurt us too much, otherwise we'll go crazy because of all of these people! Try to not let them win! You're a beautiful, wonderful person just the way you are! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I'm really happy that you have at least a few acquiantances IRL that are being SO kind to you! I'm sure you'll be able to meet some women that will be kind to you as well! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! You're perfectly fine the way you are right now! I hope things will get better soon for you one way or another! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! You're BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE and WONDERFUL just THE WAY YOU ARE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, mountainstream!