He's hot and cold because he only sees you as an option. I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt.
Men like him aren't looking for anything serious. His behavior fits the pattern of a serial narcissist. He woos you with bountiful attention in the beginning until he's hooked you. Then, once he has you hooked, his attention wanes, leaving you confused. You reach out to talk to him about it, he gives you a breadcrumb so you'll leave him alone, then he hooks you again, so that you can be his optional source of attention without any real commitment from him.
Your best bet is to cut him loose. You'll never get a real relationship out of this guy.
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My biggest concerns/questions to summarize this massive post:
1. Why is he so hot and cold? Why did he seem so warm and flirty in person and then distant on the phone 6 hours later?
2. Am I being overbearing for insisting on daily communication? We never actually agreed to talk every day, it just sort of happened and now I expect it.
3. Will he forget about me or resent me if I continue No Contact to give him space?
4. Does it sound like he just wants to be friends or is weighing whether he might want something more someday?
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1. He's hot and cold b/c he likes you enough to keep you as an option, but doesn't like you enough to make you a full-time priority.
2. Yes, you are being overbearing. Only because you're dealing with a narcissist who operates from the Power Over reality not the Personal Power reality. You two are not operating from the same place.
3. He already has forgotten you and yes he will resent you for continually nagging him to meet your standards. He doesn't want to meet your standards because he's not interested in you enough to do that. It's nothing you've done. That's because he's operating from a narcissistic place, not a mutually beneficial, personal power place like you're at. You're about mutual respect. He's about "I win!"
4. It sounds like he's got you emotionally hooked on his "option" list of people he will occasionally "tap" into for attention. That's all you are, I'm afraid, is a resource of positive attention to him. That's all he wants from you. He doesn't want a real commitment or he would have been emotionally available to you for one.