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Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ
Penalizing me after giving me permission was incredibly traumatic - shame for feeling and expressing anger is exactly what I experienced in childhood despite every right to be upset, but needless to say, all of this was linked to past trauma in therapy and that is why it bothered me so much.
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Are you equating her saying it sounded like you lacked empathy for the crisis line people with penalizing you? That seems sort of interesting. I understand why that might have hurt your feelings, especially since you pride yourself on being an empath. I really don't like when anybody says I am lacking a trait in relation to some situation, when the trait is something I value highly and think I am naturally good at - and it is upsetting whether the person is right or wrong.
I guess I'm just curious how an observation is punitive. I'm not disagreeing, just trying to understand.
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I hope she can understand that rewarding me for challenging someone is exactly what I need to heal.
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I'm also unclear about this. Did you actually challenge someone, or do you mean the venting? I have no idea, I'm just wondering because from my personal observations, venting isn't a stepping stone to being able to actually confront people. Venting is inversely proportional to assertiveness irl (again, just from my own observations). You might need to spell out for your therapist if you see the venting as part of your improvement, especially if she hasn't known you very long and won't recognize if you weren't previously critical of people who had wronged you.