Settling is the worst thing to do when it comes to relationships, even friendships. Yes, people can disappoint us when we communicate our needs and expectations to them. But, that just means (to me, anyway) that those people refuse to respect my needs and expectations. Why would I want to be friends with someone who doesn't respect me? Does that make sense?

People who tell you to lower your expectations so you'll be happier, are wrong. They're basically telling you to compromise yourself to please others, when they tell you to lower your expectations. Um, I won't do that. Why should you?

You know who you are, what you like, what you want from your friendships. I think setting expectations eliminates stress for both friends. You know if your compatible based on what your expectations of each other are. If you don't share the same expectations, how can the friendship work at all?

I mean, teachers set expectations for students, bosses set expectations for their staff, parents set expectations for their children. It's not so much to control, but to communicate "these are my needs, and this is what I need you to do to fulfill those needs." Does that make sense?