Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
I think even without setting expectations, there's nothing you can do to control another person's response to your actions. Literally, nothing you can do. I have to disagree with you that having expectations is wrong. It's actually good to have set expectations. That's the way you set boundaries with people. If people don't know what your boundaries are -- expectations, standards -- then, their behavior can really hurt you. That's why it's imperative to set expectations with people you met online or in person through clear communication with each other.
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I agree that boundaries are very important. If for example I had a good friend online who I was emailing with every day or every few days and they said something I found hurtful... how would I deal with that?
I hope I would step back, think about it for a while and then respond kindly but clearly explain that I felt hurt by something they had said, and why.
I also would say something like
“I felt hurt by something you said and I’ve been thinking about how to tell you, I appreciate our friendship...”
And go from there
Not “you hurt me. I’m so angry. You’re very rude..”
I’m guessing people in this thread know this already, they are just my thoughts. Thanks for this thread, I’m going to go back and read it more carefully hopefully.
Communication is not the easiest soil.
Hugs to all
