I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Fuzzybear! Please do NOT feel guilty about writing here! This is what this forum is for after all! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want here! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that we won't judge you! You're not bothering anyone by writing, I'm sure of that! Just look at all the kind replies you're getting from all the other wise, wonderful posters! Please keep fighting as much as you can and keep trying your best like you're already doing! That's all we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Please remember that! Can I ask you what do you mean when you say that you don't feel safe? If you want to share of course! You don't have any obligation to share it with us! Just stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself, ok, my sweet friend? You're always so kind and sweet to everyone, let us return the favor! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Fuzzybear