So I’m in a similar situation as you. My fiancée was abused by previous boyfriends and it effected our sex life. Now not nearly as bad as you. I say we have sex once or twice a month. But I’m only 26 and she’s 25 so one would think our sex life would be much better.

I believe that I’m destined to be in the same situation as you if I don’t confront it now. I’ve too had repeatedly brought my concerns up to my girl. For a short time they get better, but eventually she reverts back. This where I believe repetition is key.

It could be this has become a habit for your wife or a unconscious response to pull away when you try and initiate intimacy. What I’m getting at is that both of you need to remain conscious of your wife’s habit and to correct it.

But of course the first step is for her to admit she has a problem.

I honestly can’t imagine being in a sexless marriage. It makes me sad that so many men and women have resigned themselves to it as well.

Also get off the libido killing anti depressants. I’ve done that too and it’s not worth it. I know having a high sex drive is difficult to manage when your partners sex drive is non existent. But it’s not right to kill your own libido.