I’ll write more later but wanted to say that I absolutely disengage from the attachment patterns! Budfox described well the insanity of jumping from therapist to therapist to fix trauma layered upon trauma. I don’t see the point of opening old wounds when the person who is “helping” has very little hope of fixing the wound. Years of this dynamic felt a bit like being hungry and having to stare in a bakery window all day.

For me, I became tired of the powerlessness, longing, and vulnerability. I saw years of my life drifting away, consumed with therapy drama. I was tired of feeling pathetic, needy, ill, shamed, and degraded. Tired of the one sided relationship and tired of unreciprocated love.

One day I just snapped and said ENOUGH and decided I was never, ever going to allow myself to be in this position again. So I started my quest to self-heal and build myself up. It hasn’t been perfect but anything, ANYTHING was better than what I was getting out of. I had sold my self respect for the illusion of being loved. Never again.