I'm not the person to go out to bars and pick up women but I've been desperate just to feel that connection to someone. I was raped as a child but that was the only sexual experience I've ever had. I've craved intimacy for so long but at this point it just boils down to frustration. I'm so desperate to feel positive about myself sexually at this point that it is almost unbearable. What the **** is so wrong with me that I can't even manage that? Am I a terrible person for wanting to just experience sex as a normal functioning adult does? I've been debating posting in the addiction forum but I'm not addicted to drinking, it's just the only option I have to even try to put myself out there. I can't even talk to other people unless I'm drunk.. It just hurts at this point. I hate that I can't even have the normal experiences that everyone else has and am so desperate just to feel connected to someone. I'm so alone all the time, I can't stand it.