I remember being young... my rapist was going to the restroom and i looked underneath the door to watch him pee... he notices and tells me i can watch him pee threw a vent into the other room... so i did... then i remember one time when i was 6 -7 years old i walked downstairs from my room to get something to eat. my rapist stops me... he pulls his pants down and then mine... he places me on his lap... there was his penis... he placed my hand on his penis... i was scared and knew what was going to happen next... next thing i know is he made me straddle him and we played "horsey" while he was inside me... i dissociated and it was like it wasn't happening. I was told to not tell my mom what "we" were doing because my mom would kill him and we didn't want that now did we?... memory ended

I remember being in the same bed with him one day while watching an episode of power rangers... i was hanging halfway off the bed and he grabbed my butt. It felt good for some reason. he stopped and then i wanted him to do it more so i kept doing that same position until he did it again... memory ended...

I remember him and I would get into tickle fights... he would touch me inappropriately and "tickle" my privet parts... THAT made me feel uncomfortable. It was that insentience i told my grandmother about with the sexual abuse. I said he'd tickle my butt and didn't like it. my grandmother told my mom and she kicked out my rapist out... however after that they acted like nothing had happened... my emotional scars were never tended to... last thing i remember after that was my mom woke me up and told me that he'd never hurt me again and i cried. i cried because i got him into trouble. scared... frightened. I guess stockholm syndrome? who knows?

I have so many different memories from the abuse. It happen repeatedly over the past 5 years of my young life at the time. so many things... so many times... memories keep popping up. I don't know what to think