i think the secrecy is the worst part. if my boyfriend was friends with a girl online but that girl was married, lived somewhere far away etc... or if i had access to what they were talking about id be fine with it. just like he knows he can ask to see anything of mine at any time.

but the second it becomes a secret - something is up. if hes not doing anything wrong, or thinking anything wrong, why would he hide it? and as far as sex goes - i think being intimate emotionally is worse than just straight up sex. i would much rather him get caught up in the moment physically than share his most intimate secrets with someone. just me though.