My Support Forums - View Single Post - Not allowed to have an opinion or my feelings

eskielover · Apr 13, 2019, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Does anyone else struggle with leaving situations, jobs, environments, relationships that are just not good for them or a good fit for them? I don't even mean outright domestic abuse, but just like, things that are psychologically distressing or even so simple as not your preference and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

I just need to know: it's okay for me to not like something and say I don't like it and not want to participate in it. And I don't have to apologize for that.

Yea.....I stayed in my marriage for 33 years. There were things that really bothered me from the beginning but then I didn't have the words to express my feelings (like I have gained since then) I wasn't silent with my opinions & feelings BUT my learned way of reacting was striking out & fighting......so I always thought I was the "bad guy" since I was the one striking out. That was usually is situations where I felt I had no escape. Other situations I remember just disappearing from with no explanation because I had no idea how to put my feelings into words & I don't think I was even really aware of my feelings other than just my GUT FEELING....just sensed an uncomfortable feeling & one sure can't express something as nebulous as that.

It wasn't until finally having good therapy to identify my feelings & find words for them but also the DBT section on interpersonal effectiveness has helped me put those words together to better communicate in a way that gets across MY feelings & needs while being (somewhat) sensitive to the others. I still blow it at times