My Support Forums - View Single Post - Not allowed to have an opinion or my feelings

eskielover · Apr 13, 2019, 12:06 PM

Sure does make sense

When our growing up years (adding abuse) have created environments where voicing one feelings or opinions created problems it is much harder to overcome.

I wasn't made to feel bad BUT I was afraid to voice my thoughts about anything because I observed my Dad doing this & hearing how uninformed he was (he never read or learned anything...no papers or magazinges in our house when I was growing up). The people he would once in awhile engage with were very tolerant of him.....but it embarrassed ME to the point I was afraid to voice my opinions because in my own mind I was afraid I would sound STUPID (not bad)

Different cause but similar result...not allowing ourselves to speak out & when I did get up enough nerve I had a hard time finding the words & I never had opinions that others agreed with making it even harder.

I think each person has a different way to get to that point. For me after I built up confidence & knowledge as a foundation for my opinions & understanding of my feelings it seemed easier to handle differences in most environments (though those feelings of STUPID still creep in at times even now). Not sure we ever escape the past we just learn how to handle those haunting voices inside ourselves with time & practice.

Time & practice seem to help in feeling secure with that it is OK to think & feel the way we do. Sometimes when I have been the most afraid when I finally did speak out I found out that there were others who have thought & felt the same way even in a crowd that disagreed.