Saw baby T yesterday... I was bummed due to weather I only had 1 of my 2 sessions scheduled. I ended up seeing the other T on Wed just in case.
Anyway... it was ok overall. I wrote a letter to my long term T to read to baby T since this weekend is 2 yrs since I met my T. It was ok. I was crying so much that he offered me tissues which has never happened for me in therapy.... (offering tissues part) and then all he said was "That was brave of you to share that, sounds like there is a lot of guilt there" Wow... really? So, I HATE when T's thank me for sharing things, it sounds so rehearsed and like they are patting me on the back for something silly. Drives me crazy. I was rather disappointed in his lack of response. I shared ALOT of personal and painful **** in there... and it was just like it didn't matter. I regretted sharing it instantly. Granted it was probably a lot on me because there was 10 min to go when I finally read it but still.

At one point, I brought up another issue I'm having that seems to be preventing me from progressing, because I'm "stuck" mentally... and emotionally. I have deep betrayal feelings with my T about seeing any other T. To the point where I refuse ANYTHING that might help me in therapy if he and I used to do it. I even got actually pissed off at the other T (well not to his face but just in my own time) for using smileys in emails. I was furious he was trying to be chummy. Anyway... baby T basically again "praised" me like I'm a child... by saying "it's great you know the triggers and are able to express them" wow... he was reading off a script I think

He's been good in the sense that he has never once judged anything I've shared about my unconventional relationship with T... but idk, I left feeling like ok 'He's sick of this topic as much as I'm sick of talking about it' so I think I am gonna work on the grief alone from here on out. I will save sessions for self worth or something. Although I really do think I need another break from therapy. I'm just so tired of it all. Nothing seems to help. Maybe I'm beyond help, who knows.