It's not about sex addiction, it's about reaching out for someone to love you. It's about being afraid of being alone.

Hun....I did the same thing. Only in my case, it's worse. I wasn't drunk, I was completely sober and coherent. I am MARRIED. I have a child. When I did this the first time, she was only 6 months old. I would call in sick to work, but still leave the house as if I was going to work. I'd go to online chat rooms and just meet guys and tell them to meet me at a motel for sex. No names, no phone numbers.

That was 2 years ago, and I've been doing it again just the past few weeks.

I don't know your entire story, but please - try to get some help. Call a therapist.

You mentioned some self-harm - are you a cutter? Or do you otherwise hurt yourself?

Check into Borderline Personality Disorder. See if the symptoms sound like you. The impulsive sex, drinking binges, self-loathing, and self-harm are big ones. And if it does sound like you, please call a professional. You can get help. You can stop this.

You are not a *****!