I'm really struggling at the moment. I see my therapist twice a week now. And seeing my psychiatrist next week. I really think that I need to switch one of my medications. I been drinking here and there. But I feel so worthless these days, so insignificant, like I don't really exist. The self hatred is really strong. I been self harming again. I feel like I cannot relate to anyone and that no one can relate to me. I believe I am beyond help and hope. I am too ****ed up. I feel very isolated, paranoid about others. Struggle with suicidal ideations. I don't know what to do anymore.