T, I’m hurting. I am hurting so bad and I don’t understand why. Emotionally I am still struggling with random bouts of fear you will be violent with me. H wants to be supportive in a way that feels supportive to him... but he laughed at me when I told him I emailed you about the fears. H will let me hug him but it is feeling more and more rejecting/not in there every day. I guess he is starting to feel really emotionally unavailable. Pdoc can’t get here fast enough with more hugs. Please, please take me seriously in my request for touch in the next session. I know that sounds crazy after me telling you I am imagining you being violent with me but I need the reassurance. My body hurts so badly and I am always cold, I’m never cold. Now I can’t get warm. I’m loosing time too. Lost a day somewhere this week. Please hold me, hold my hand, hug me, something. Please.