hi and thanks for the reply.

in retrospect, yes theres been plenty of discord ifni underatand that term correctly. i look back over the past 2 years and i see things shes done that were out of character.

beimg really mean and condescending to me in front of friends, just one married couple specifically being overly cozy with the husband where she never was in the past.

we’ve beem to counseling 10 yrs ago to work on us and get over infidelity on my part but i was 100% on board with saving us and worked very hard.

one interesting conversation we had thursday night was inasked if she was emotionally attached to someone else.

she said i can’t answer that. she was ready to cry and turned her head away.

i said “can’t or won’t?”

she said “can’t, i dont know”

so that me to believe she is having a one way attachment to this guy. she craves the wat he treats her but he treats everyone that way and probably doesnt have feelings for her and thats her struggle? dunno, just grasping for answers to quiet my head.

i went to the teams captain because i though he and his wife might know about their affair and they didnt. they promised to keep it quiet. they are earlt 60’s highly educated and good people i trust. husband gave me his .02 on this guy and he sounds like NOT they kinda guy who would steal anothers wifes.

when my wife first dropped the bomb monday, she said there were 2 men on the team ahe had been talking to about her confusion and feelings. one is a super good guy. strong christian values amd close knit family. he knows the single guy i question too and she says thay are both telling her to work it out.

so christian man knows shes talking with single man and christian man would not stand for single man doing anything bad.

told her that i disnt think single man liled me much because of how he acted towards me at a party last summer. she says not everyonenis like me and fast that he’s not “that” guy.

sorry to ramble.