I had this only briefly with my regular long term T. It was after the rupture and there was a brief time I felt "scared" of him, but we worked through it and all was well. I wanted him to be "closer" actually... and I'm not normally like that

I am thinking I'm at this point with baby T and t3 (even though at this point he's only a back up)-- I'm unsure why with baby T exactly. Other than my usual, I get this way a lot with most people and it's to "save them from me" in a sense, I feel I'm annoying an a waste of time and space and in this case, he's very popular and could probably do much better without pissing away 50 min of his week with me. Yes I know it's self worth issues but I still feel it, although it's not as bad, It's just a little, or maybe I just want distance because I'm depressed and I push people away in general when I am. I'm not sure

t3... even though he very much intrigues me in the sense that I think his "style" could actually be the best for me, of ANY T I've seen (and I'm thinking even though he stinks at grief, he might be holding back there because he knows I can't see him regularly right now) but he has a few things that remind me of my T. Like smiley faces in emails and trying to ask me about things I enjoy, it drives me crazy and I want to scream at him. He has no right trying to "replace" T.... even though the isn't actually TRYING... the illogical/anxiety part of me is convinced of it.

Both of them, try to be funny and I refuse to engage in that. Normally humor is my biggest coping skill but I don't want to do anything with either of them that I did with my T. Just no.

I'm just wondering how normal this is since I didn't really experience it with long term T. Although being avoidant in general, I do this to ALL types of people in my life, constantly. Any advice on it? Maybe another break will be good for me? I'm thinking of one with baby T very soon.