Well,

I admit - the first time I "quit" was because of a friend of mine. I was trying to "people-please" and thought it would make him happy if I just "quit".

Then he left... and I relapsed.

So I went into therapy (again) and had to decide to quit for myself, and not for anyone else ... even though somedays I hang on because my friends ask me to.

I quit mostly because I know it's bad for me, I know I have an addictive personality... and I know if given the opportunity, I could do some serious damage to myself that would be irreparable, in a very severe sense. I dont want to lie, I dont want to try to hide my scars...

And mostly, I just want to *try* to love myself as people around me seem to love me. And this seems to be a good way to go.

(Not by any means "cured" either.... I switch bad behaviours whenever I'm in a bad mood... and my coping mechanisms aren't fully developped to be completely useful, and for me to be self-sufficient. In time, I hope!)