The issue of "Saving them from me" isn't just therapy, it's literally everyone. I do it with friends, co workers etc. I always have. I feel they are better off without me or shouldn't have to deal with me, the only plus with therapy, is I'm paying them to put up with me. So at least they are making money off me

Oh ya, baby T used to do it a lot and then I never laughed or I'd change the topic and he hasn't done it as much. I did chuckle at one thing he said in the last session but then he replaced it with someone super annoying and I was back to being annoyed with him, which I like LOL

I just don't see how therapy is helping me, I feel like it isn't. That's why I want a break. I also said with baby T from day 1 that I am only interested in short term therapy. It's nearly been my 90 days with him, so I think I just want to step back and be on my own two feet. See how I can do. I think/hope shifting focus from grief to something else, like my self worth will change a lot of my depressed feelings. I need that issue to just go away for now. It's nothing that can be changed by them or me. So I need to just accept it and move on.

I am not 100% sure on a break yet but at the very least I will be taking 2 week break after my last scheduled appointment on April 25. Baby T is out of town and I have a week long pet sit gig. So I'm not going either week. Maybe that will be enough for me, who knows. After that I'll decide if I want to continue or not. I may just wait until June and the other guy is on my insurance.