I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I can relate to much of this myself. Hopefully your upcoming appointment with your pdoc will result in some improvement.

I wish I knew what to suggest. In my own case, I've pretty-much just resigned myself to the fact that things are the way they are & that's it. The good thing, in my case, I guess you might say is that I'm old. So it really just doesn't much matter anymore. I have my daily routine. And I just make myself keep doing whatever it is that comes next on the list. I meet my intrusive thoughts with what is referred to as compassionate abiding. Are you familiar with the practice? If not, here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

My best wishes to you...