I'm still having a hard time accepting it, but this week, I'm starting to believe my diagnosis. I've been so busy at work, constantly rearranging things and coming up with new ideas and frantically carrying them out; everyone around me is complimenting my hard work and good ideas, and I'm a little inflated about it, but the feeling is mostly distressing and agitated amidst periods of extremely good mood. The biggest sign for me that something is wrong is my irritation; I have one particular co-worker I don't get along with super well, but we can usually work and it's fine. I keep wanting her to say something or do something that will justify me snapping at her, making her cry, ruining her day. I'm just aware enough that this is bad to keep myself away from her for the most part. But I know it's wrong that I don't feel bad about thinking this way. I'm speeding when I drive (nothing super excessive, but speeding nonetheless), more grinny and giggly than normal, I'm rocking back and forth, picking at myself, jiggling a leg if I have to sit. Pacing when there isn't anything for me to do. Talking loudly and bringing up inappropriate topics in conversation.


This sucks. At least I think I might be starting to come down a bit now. We will see. It's been a pretty calm day at work, but it's only a little over halfway through my shift so who knows. Day 5 of this mood today.


I have an appointment with both my therapist and psychiatrist Monday. Keeping trying.