I'm sure you won't see my email tonight. I just feel so horrible. I tried to talk to H about something that is missing in our relationship, and he just kept bringing up my screw-up 3 years ago. I can't take it back. I wish I could, but I can't. And I just want to hurt myself right now. Or worse. I don't know how to handle this. I emailed you, but I doubt you'll see it before tomorrow morning. And then I see you at 12:30. I just...I need to figure out how to get through tonight. I would text and ask for a call, but...I mean, H is here, how could I have a call? And you turn your phone off at 10. So...maybe I'll just hold your stone tonight to help me through...