T, I am in so much pain and tomorrow seems like a dangerous session. Please, please take me at my word. I know I told you about the images and the fears but please do not think that makes me afraid of the REAL you. I need you tomorrow more than I have ever needed you. Calm, loving, in tune... and willing to touch me. I need to FEEL you safe again not just see and hear it. I am not trying to trigger myself. I admit, I don’t know what will happen if I get quiet and centered and you touch me or hug me... but I know 100% it will be healing not hurtful. Please believe me. Please don’t take touch away. Please be on your A game.
Tonight I went over and got the locket that smells like your office. First time all week, maybe longer. It is comforting again, not scary. In a perfect world tomorrow as I follow you up the steps I will be hit with that familiar smell. When we reach the top of the steps you will take your shoes off and give me space to take mine off... then ask if I need a hug before we get started.
Tomorrow is the first session we have had where it would be very easy for you to unintentionally hurt me emotionally. Please don’t back away. Please.