Its probably not good to self medicate. I know I sound sort of like a buzz kill but good and effective treatment can get derailed by that.

I would honestly consider trying more antipsychotics. Im totally different on them than off them. Its really crazy to understand just how sick I was before, but it was pretty bad. Now I know whats real and I dont have so many confusing thoughts running through my head. Everythings so much easier for the most prt and its a huge relief. Please dont give up. You can be on the good side of the statistics- one of the people that does well- if you just dont give up or give in to what just feels easier- like alcohol and drugs- and seek out something that can help you long term