I’m not sure if I push him away. I’m not even entirely sure what that would look like in my specific situation. Sometimes I feel like my need for a connection with him takes over everything else in session, so pushing him away wouldn’t make senses.

On a subconscious level, however, I noticed on a few occasions that I deliberately allowed myself to feel disproportionately angry at some things he said just so that I could stop myself from feeling so attached. It didn’t last very long though, usually by the following session the longing was back. Maybe pushing him away a bit would do me good, idk.