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Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?
I’m sorry to hear of your situation. Thanks for your bravery in sharing. You are not alone. Im in my mid 30s and have been once about 5 years ago. My T helped. She actually suggested a doctor (her own, this was helpful to me but I understand others might find it uncomfortable). She told me in general what would happen. Before the actual appointment, I went to the OBGYN building twice. The first time I just sat in the parking lot and looked at the building. The second time I went into the office, told them about my anxiety, and asked to see the exam room. They were nice and gave me a little tour. Also, no men allowed for me. And Xanax was taken. Hopefully this gives you some ideas about making things less terrifying.
It’s time for me to go again, but now I live in a different state with different doctors. Maybe new T can help. A referral from a good friend has helped some, but not enough for me to actually go.
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And thanks a lot for sharing your experience, too. I might have to take something for the anxiety if it gets intense. I've only had one medication prescribed for anxiety but I only took it once and it was not helpful. I'm proud of you for going, though. Hopefully I can build up the courage to set an appointment soon.
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Originally Posted by cavaliers
Tell the nurse/doc whoever you see first that you are a CSA survivor. This is their profession & they've dealt with many times before. There is even a protocol for it. If you know what you need, tell them. I need to know what's going to happen next. Some docs incorporate the protocol into every first time appointment especially if an older first timer. That may include a shorter exam, the presence of a nurse who will even hand hold if you like. Prefer a running conversation or silence...just tell them. They want to make it as comfortable as possible as this is an important part of physical health. If you want to take a friend with you, do so. Don't need to explain. Just plan a lunch or shopping afterwards. Take care of yourself.
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Letting them know straight up is the way to go, it seems. That would make me feel more comfortable in addition to them talking things through. I wish I wasn't so nervous. -sighs- And taking care of myself afterwards is a good idea, too. Thank you for your helpful response.
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Originally Posted by Raindropvampire
My fear of going was compounded by the fact that my main abuser(uncle) was a doctor. I simply explained what I had been through to my doctor. She called around for me and found someone she thought I would be comfortable with. The first appointment was just a get to know you and she showed me the instruments that would be used. She also told me in detail what to expect and that she would talk me through what she was doing. Then I made a second appointment and the actual exam was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
Good luck to you and wishing you the strength to get through it.
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Knowing that I don't have to do the actual exam at the first appointment is extremely helpful, so thank you for mentioning that. I think that will make things a lot easier for me. Like you and other people said, expressing my feelings at the beginning seems like a good idea. I'm afraid to be that vulnerable but I think I'll have to so I can feel as comfortable as possible. Thank you very much for telling me about your experience.