Just my opinion but what I think some therapists can miss the mark on is that it doesn’t matter whether or not certain events happen exactly as they are retold by clients. They aren’t professional fact checkers or judges. What matters is how clients feel, process and integrate their reality.

Judging clients’ reactions, then “tough loving” or giving clients a “reality check” doesn’t seem particularly helpful in many cases - for at least for the OP in this example. An alternative response could have been questioning or gently reframing. It seems analytics and exploration were lost here in favor of judgment. It doesn’t mean the therapist is a monster, but her comments hurt HD and that should be explored as well. That is the important thing, not invalidating the OP’s perceptions.

To what MissBella describes, I too view therapy as a space to bring whatever the client is experiencing into the room. Not everything the client brings in is going to be “nice” or “eloquent”, and I don’t think it’s the therapist’s place to shame or blame when “imperfect” material surfaces (“imperfect” meaning something a therapist does not agree with). Seems to me like it should all be grist for the mill, if the space is truly nonjudgmental.