My attachment disorder is showing.

I have been seeing my T for almost a year. I am extremely attached.

He does things that some may consider pink or red flags, like he has said he loved me (not like a sexual way) and he has told me I am one of his favorite clients. Once someone nabbed my usualy spot so I scheduled after that one on that day and he said he was disapointed that it wasnt me at my usual time. He talks about himself freely, among other things and these things have made me feel a little special though I do wonder sometimes if he is being ethical. But this does not change the fact that I feel a special bond with him and have really come to rely on our hour each week. I know he is a "parent" right now to my subconscious, and I have been abandoned and neglected by my parents.

Well I just go an email from his office (not personal email) that in 2 months his days are changing and the new schedule wont work for me. Now im sitting here all frozen and not sure how to process this. He knew Thursdays were the only day that worked for me. He gave me no indication in our last session that this might be happening soon. I just got this cold heartless email, and I am feeling quite abandoned. I dont cry and I just cried.

I feel foolish for letting myself think that I really was anything to him besides a portion of his paycheck. I'm angry. I don't want to see him again. But I do.

I cant rely on anyone. Not even my therapist. I feel so empty.