I’ll most likely have an appointment in May. I’m waiting for a specific therapist and if she can’t see me then she basically wasted 4 months of time I could have spent seeing someone else. She’s on maternity leave now. She said she had room for me. I’m just nervous about starting therapy again. I don’t want to be diagnosed with BPD but I have zero relationships besides my mom let alone unhealthy ones. I rarely have mood swings and I control them when I have them. I don’t have any risky behaviors. My self esteem and self worth are fine. I don’t fit it but I don’t want some stranger judging me for how I may have acted 10-13 years ago. I am really nervous about doing this.