My T is VERY experienced with well over 30 years of being a T. He has a ton of specialized training and some awesome CEUs...
But more and more I am feeling like he has never worked with trauma with the breadth and depth of mine. Then I think I am just trying to be “special” by being the worst or some stupid ego trip. I don’t believe in comparing traumas, what is no big deal for me would break others instantly and the same the other way around. I know when I was a trainer in child welfare I used myself as an example a lot because it gave the case workers a perspective that didn’t challenge their knowledge/experience directly. Sometime I made it sound like it was several cases I had been privy to but other times I owned up that it was all me. Most were shocked no matter how experienced they were. So, is it possible T hasn’t run into this??? Or maybe he has run into all the little pieces but not this much in one person?
I know T does a lot of self care but I am starting to worry. I told him one story today and he was too shocked to even rub his head... I hate to tell him but there is another identical one in there only worse... or do I not tell him?
Feeling so confused, lost, broken.