T, you tried so hard. You were right there waiting patiently, gently, holding the space... and I sat there like a cat that thinks it is amusing to see how long the human will hold the door before shooing them inside or out... then meowing to see if said human will reopen the door. I feel like crap. Total crap. You did the therapeutic part I asked for 100%... but I couldn’t do my part and now I am miserable. I just want to pull the covers over my head until my next chance to fail... 7 more days. I know you were hurting and frustrated today too and I know it wasn’t frustrated with me. Easter you are going away. It is an anniversary week of a major abandonment... worse, you are going to the place I want to be right now... oh and to imagine how much better it could be if you were there too
This didn’t post last night and the sucky is just as bad today. I get to see massage T but I am not even excited, just blah, another obligation with social **** attached. This is so not like me. I want you to reply to my email... but I want you to tell me you have an opening this week and we can try again, that you have some other truck up your sleeve to help... I know if you respond it isn’t going to be that..