Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I think the difference might be us seeing these things, assuming we are right, judging someone because those things and worse yet- feeling like we should say something to someone about it. I try to remember that the whole world doesn't need to hear what I have to say, the world doesn't revolve around me and that very often I am not "right". You say you are able to see the 'why' in situations like that-but for me, just when I think I've figured it out-I realize I am off the mark.
That situation can be very painful for sure, like a slap in the face. I have adhd in addition to other mental illnesses and my impulsive mouth or choices sometimes get the best of me. And that might mean I crack a joke that I think me and the other person(s) will think is funny-like an inside joke-but actually I am not even "on the inside" to be cracking a joke at all.
I am sorry you feel that people treat you poorly due to a physical attribute that isn't nice at all.
What do you mean by "forcing" herself into conversations? Do you mean she is part of a group or walks up to a group and tries to comment and is ignored? Do you mean she is just in the group listening but they see it as an intrusion?
Negativity is very hard for me to be around. Mostly because I feel like I might let it seep into my own personal outlook which is mostly positive. I have never been someone who identified with "misery loves company".
I think seeing yourself objectively is hard. Mostly because of our egos. I feel there is a part of human nature that makes us more critical of others when we see their faults and actually recognize them, even unconsciously. I know that when someone is getting under my skin at a meeting and I let it occupy my time, and start thinking about all the things wrong with that person- I am actually recognizing flaws in them that are actually my flaws- or at least partially. I think humans find the "familiar" comforting even if its not positive.
Its something I am not perfect at. What I try hardest to do is not treat someone unkind or truly not give them a chance just because I think I have it figured out. I mean seriously- who the hell am I anyway to even listen to my own bull *****.
|
I agree with you. We may think we are right but could very well be wrong when judging a situation from the outside looking in. And yeah, in terms of finding out that some people don't feel as close to you as you thought, it can feel like a slap in the face. I've been there many times. I'm sorry you have to deal with that especially with your ADHD. My friend has ADHD as well so that is probably a part of it. Unfortunately people may not realize it or even some may not care and will respond poorly to it.
And in terms of forcing herself, yeah she basically will sort of walk up to a group and start adding comments and the other group members will ignore her. Maybe glance at her but otherwise ignore. And yes, negativity that occurs constantly, especially if it is because someone didn't get what they wanted, is hard for me to be around after some time. I've been in that situation and eventually it wears me down and makes me feel more negative and sad. Amazing at what constant exposure to negativity can do to you. It is a turnoff for anyone. And yes, seeing yourself objectively is hard especially if you may be seeing your own faults in someone else, which is very common among people. As you put it, it's just human nature.