I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, panda165! I'm really happy that you do have some dreams and goald that you want to aspire to! Please try to hang on to that as much as you can! They can really help us keep going when we're feeling depressed and down! Did therapy work out for you? Did it make you feel any better? I feel like therapy should give you some coping skills to help you deal with this kind of moments when you're feeling depressed and down! Perhap your therapist just wasn't a right fit for you? Perhap you could try to look for another one if you can and want! Please DO consider it if you can and want! Please DO NOT feel ashamed about asking for help and talking to other people about this and about your struggles! You're NOT disappointing anyone! It's not your fault if you're feeling like this AT ALL! Of course you'd feel better if you could just "snap out" of it, but unfortunately that's not possible! Please try to reach out to ANYONE that you think that may help you or even simply understand how you feel if you can and want to! Do you have a support system IRL? Any friend or family member that you may reach out to? Please try to reach out as much as you can if you want to! Things CAN and WILL get better! I PROMISE YOU THAT! We're here for you if you need ANY kind of support! Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know! Remember that we all care about you! Remember that we all love you! Feel free to vent and write as much as you need to and want to! You know we'll NEVER judge you! I PROMISE YOU THAT! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to hang on as much as you possibly CAN! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let us know if there's anything AT ALL that we can do to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm sos orry you have to deal with all of this, panda165!