I had different therapists---two co-therapist scornful bullies and others who were more benign.

Escaping the bullies was the most difficult: either stay for more punishment or defy "authority."

Still the more benign therapists had me believe they'd bolstered me. Leaving demonstrated I handled tough situations all along without them.

Only after distance I realized I'd been mesmerized into seeing my therapists as mystical and magical. They clearly encouraged this through dominance signalling, arrogation and artifice. I felt like a dupe who handed them the weapons of my vulnerability.

I no longer believe in gurus or that anyone is omniscient and omnipotent. And I stopped chasing some cola commercial life, thinking everyone else was at the party except me.