Oh Jello, I'm so sorry this has happened.

I think there could be two quite different things that are going on, and it is important for your therapist to engage in some self reflection and figure out and communicate to you honestly where things are at.

The first possibility... Is that your therapist needs this boundary for themself. It might be that your therapist is feeling worn a little thin at this point and so needs to cut down on out of session contact etc so that they can continue to function as a therapist as well as they do.

This (of course) raises a number of concerns (well, it jolly well would for me at any rate) about whether I'm too much. About whether I'm too demanding. Takes a very secure therapist indeed to really believe (and hence properly convey) that it is *their* weakness rather than your own.

The second possibility... Is that your therapist is doing alright... But that they honestly believe that you need this little 'push' in order to discover that you are more independent than you think you are.

There are two (main) theories on the development of independence.

The first is that the parent needs to give a little 'push' in order to encourage independence.

(That seems to be what your therapist is saying they think)

The second is that the parent doesn't need to give a little 'push'. Instead... When the person is ready to be more independent (because they have properly internalized soothing and caring from others) then they will stop reaching out so much and will venture out more without seeking the parent. (This can be complicated if the person figures out that the parent can't cope with the person's new independence. Some kids stick by their mothers side (e.g., school anxiety) not because they feel particularly anxious about being away from mother but instead they appreciate that their mother is anxious when they are away from them and so they stick close in order to caretake their parent). But this latter problem isn't an issue for you (in the past or with your present therapist) - is it?

If this really is what your therapist is thinking (and they aren't simply attempting to justify why they need more space in a way that implicates your weakness rather than their own) then your therapist might not be aware that there are other theories on the development of independence out there.

Could you talk to your therapist more about this?