> i told him i felt tossed out into space and he said "i know you feel that way but it isn't true.

> he said i was thinking in terms of all or nothing

Whether it is or isn't true that you have been tossed out into space - that is how you feel. Maybe (probably) because in the past... Maybe with your parents... You needed them to be there providing support for you and... They weren't.

It doesn't matter whether your parents intentionally gave you a 'push' to be more independent (believing that was what was best for your long term interests) or whether they simply weren't able to provide the support you needed (due to their own weakness). Point is that your need for support exceeded the support you were given.

And that is painful. So very painful.

I wonder if your therapist could...
Appreciate that even if you aren't being tossed out into space...
It is a fact that you FEEL that way.
I wonder if your therapist could...
Empathize with the feeling.
Not try and change it.
Not try and cognitively restructure it.
But empathize with the feeling.
How come?

Because feeling alone with feelings of abandonment is so hard and so painful.

If your therapist can sit there with you, empathizing with your feeling alone and abandoned then...

Your therapist is there. There for you RIGHT NOW.

And that... Is what can be healing.

Your therapist can't be there empathizing with you through all the bad feelings...

But if they can do that in session at least...

It makes the times they aren't there more bearable.

And eventually... It becomes internalized.

And then you don't need them so much.

'Cause you can empathize with yourself.

But there is only one way to learn (to internalize the empathy of others).

And when you not only lose that OUT of session
But you lose that IN session

Well the feelings of (emotional) abandonment are only all the more justified...